Moments
by Capt.Moo
Summary: [AU][SSLE] Severus Snape discovers that certain events are only felt, not seen... that certain people forgive, but always remember. Warning: Mature Content
1. Oblivious

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter (I just own the plot...sadly..)

**Title:** Moments

**Pair:** Severus Snape & Lily Evans

**Summary:** AU - Snape is devastated when he discovers that Lily has been murdered. As he tries to trace the killer, he finds out that certain events are only felt, not seen; that certain people forgive, but always remember. SSLE

**Chapter 1:** Oblivious

"You loved her, didn't you?" Remus softly asked while he slowly ran his fingers through her silken red hair.

The man was silent. He had knew Remus would ask him this question and he contemplated all night thinking of how to answer him. Should he answer truthfully or simply lie? But he knew he couldn't lie. He couldn't let James win even if James had died long ago. He knew his feelings for this _certain_ witch would stay with him and a sudden release of feelings wouldn't bring her back. Alive. Oh, how he wished a smile would etch onto her face when he had said something funny; how he wished she would just stand up, pretending that nothing was wrong, that she was never dead; how he wished he could hold this woman in his arms forever, whispering to her how much he loved her; But it was already too late. Here she was, lifeless on Hogwarts's concrete floor.

He hesitated for a few seconds until he slowly decided to reach for her cold hand. The man closed his eyes in bliss and felt tears slide down his cheeks. Her hands were still graceful and soft even in death. He felt his chest heavily heave up and down as he struggled not to break down. He let his eyes wander onto her beautiful, ageless face and saw his salty tears drip onto her perfect complexion.

"Severus?"

Snape lifted his head at the sound of his name and knew instantly that he could not lie.

"I still do," he whispered.

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Lily Evans was a brilliant student. Professors fought with each other to have this girl in their classes - Slughorn was especially proud of having this girl in his Potions class. Not only did she cooperate with his instructions, she had managed to create new potions as well. She was teamed with his "other" best student, Severus Snape.

Initially, they had not sat down next to each other. Lily had sat in the center front row and Severus was in the back, droning over some unknown book. James Potter had attempted to sit with Lily Evans, but she had requested to Slughorn that she did not want James as a partner. James protested, but Slughorn eventually made James move to another spot.

"Move or you _will_ get detention," Slughorn commanded.

Lily grinned at the redfaced Potter and proceeded to pull out the Potions book. Slughorn then asked Severus Snape to move up because he was "too far from hearing range." Severus sighed and walked down the aisle to find an empty spot.

"Please sit next to Lily Evans."

Snape's face lit up as he realized that he had at least one class with his childhood friend. Even if they were in different Houses, maybe they had a chance. Just maybe. Lily's eyebrows flew to her head and she turned around. Snape smirked as Lily excitedly waved her delicate arm to greet him.

"You're pairing a beautiful girl with this ugly beast?" James roared.

"Greasy, too," Sirius added.

Lily rolled her eyes and made room for Severus. He nodded his thanks and sat down. Slughorn continued with his lesson, but Snape tuned him out as he stared at Lily. Lily smiled at him and poked him in his side.

"Pay attention!" she had teased.

Severus smirked. It was only their second year: Maybe Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad afterall.

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Remus softly chuckled. Snape glared at him and felt his heart sink when he realized that Remus had not changed at all. Remus gave him an apologetic smile and waved his hands in front of his face.

"No, no...I didn't mean it like that," he assured Severus. "It's just that..." Remus pondered. "I thought you'd never be able to admit it."

Remus chuckled again but Snape felt tears sting his eyes again.

"I didn't think I would be able to either...but it's too late now anyway. She's dead."

Snape sighed and stuffed his pale hands into his pockets. Remus frowned and turned to the foggy window.

"It's never too late for anything."

"Too late for me and Lily..." he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "Too late for _us_..." Severus croaked.

Remus glanced at Snape's face. For once, it had began to "open up" and Remus could easily see all the emotions swimming in it. He felt sorry for ever laughing, but he knew his response was perfectly plausible. It _never_ is too late. Severus would just have to find that out himself. Even if it meant risking to lose Lily again.

Remus slowly paced the room, a glint appearing in his eyes.

"What if I told you that miracles were possible, Severus?"

Snape snorted. "If they were even _real_, why didn't I have any?" Severus stomped out of the room and Remus looked disapprovingly. Remus sighed and the glint disappeared from his eyes.

"Well, I guess that approach won't work," he said aloud to himself. He glanced at Lily's body on the floor. Remus sighed again and walked quietly out of the room, shutting the door.

If Severus and Remus had stayed a little longer, they would have seen Lily Evan's right hand slightly move forward.

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"Severus! Please understand!" Remus panted as he tried to catch up to the other man.

They were both emotionally hurt, but Remus knew Snape was hurting more than he was. Lily was Severus's savior, his light, his only love. Snape turned a sharp corner and Remus almost lost him. However, he stopped when he saw Snape in front of a wall, a deadend.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making a coffin for her," he said bluntly.

The wall turned into a liquid of thick consistency and the air smelled like burning wood. The new liquid formed itself into a coffin shaped "container" and solidified in a matter of seconds. Remus gaped at the coffin. It was a masterpiece. The coffin was simple yet elegant at the same time. The wood was a deep brown but polished so it had a sleek glow to it. Hints of red were evident in the cover and if one dotted them together, it would form a faint silhouette of Lily Evans. Remus glanced at Snape, who was slowly dragging the coffin back to the room. Snape felt his glance on him and turned.

"What do you want, Lupin?"

"I wanted to assist you," he muttered. But Snape knew he was lying. He raised his eyebrows as Remus lifted the coffin on the otherside of Snape. Severus shrugged and lifted the coffin up as well. Together, they walked up the stairs into the room where Lily Evans was murdered.

Severus kicked the door open and walked in with Remus. They had left the coffin outside the room because it could not fit through the small wooden framework. Severus had _expected_ Lily to be in the same spot, unless Remus had moved her.

But she wasn't.

His eyes widened and he looked at Remus. He, too, had a shocked look upon his face and Snape knew that Remus did not move her. Snape signaled Remus not to talk or make a sound. He neared toward the spot where Lily's blood stained the floor and knelt down. The blood was still dried - crusty and flaky in his fingers. The puddle was undisturbed and there were no signs of Lily Evans being dragged out the room with a blood trail following. His breathing hitched as he heard hiccuped breathing. Severus shakily neared the bed, unprepared for whatever or _whoever_ lay on it. He ripped back the curtain and nearly had a heart attack.

It was Lily Evans. Scared, breathing, but very much alive.

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"Haha, Sev! You're going to ruin the potion if you put that mandrake root in it!"

"No! It'll be perfect if I do!" he slyly said. He knew it would ruin the potion and how it would "devastate" Lily if she ever got a failing grade. Throughout her six years of Hogwarts, she had a perfect streak of A+s. He hung the mandrake root dangerously above the bubbling potion as she yelped with helplessness.

"_Puh-lease_, Sev? You know you can't do it! You'll get a failing grade, too!" She giggled inbetween sentences.

Sev frowned. She was right. He had never gotten a failing grade in Potions and he never planned to get one. When he pulled the mandrake root away from the cauldron, she pounced on him and he rolled off the bench. Once he got up, Lily laughed as she snaked her arms around his thin neck and nestled her head in the crook of it. Sev's face instantly turned red as his mind scrambled for thoughts. He felt her hot breath tickle his reddening skin and as she squirmed against him. He felt his whole body heat up especially the area below his stomach but was confused if he should hug her back. After a few moments, Lily decided to look up at poor Sev and laughed at his reaction. She took his stiff arms and placed them on her small waist and she hugged him back, trying to encourage him to do the same to her. Sev tentatively tightened his grip on her waist and brought her closer. He could barely stand straight as his legs wobbled with emotion.

Luckily for the both of them (especially Severus), the Potions classroom was empty. Class had ended a half hour earlier, but Lily and Sev had stayed behind to finish up a potion they wanted to create. Lily suddenly sighed and broke off the hug. She slowly walked toward the door as Sev stared after her, confused. She looked over her shoulder and gave him a sad look.

"Thanks for the hug, Sev. I needed it," she whispered.

She shuffled out of the classroom and Sev breathed.

"Lily?"

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It was almost the end of sixth year when _it_ happened. Sev was walking toward his dorm after an exhausting lesson on Charms. He never quite had a knack for Charms, but Professor Flitwick insisted that everyone must practice for their upcoming exams. Severus snorted as he reached the portrait.

"Nobody needs Charms," he muttered. "Especially me...I have Potions!"

Just as he was about to say the password "Pureblood," he realized the portrait was empty. Sev raised his eyebrows in confusion and looked around the corridors. They, too, were empty. It seemed as if nobody but he was in Hogwarts. The corridors were noisy and rowdy a couple of minutes ago but they seemed to be deathly quiet. He decided to investigate and walked through Hogwarts. The staircases creaked and the knights swayed. After what seemed like forever, he had finally found a portrait that wasn't empty.

It was the Fat Lady.

She was crying, her eyes had red rims underneath and a bunch of tissues lay forgotten on the floor. She sniffed and grabbed two or three tissues at once and wiped at her weary eyes. The Fat Lady didn't notice him until Sev had cleared his throat.

"Oh dear...you're that man _she_ always hangs around with...Oh dear..."

"What is it?" Snape rudely asked.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you should know..." she said horrified.

"Why not? I'm not a first year, you know." He snorted.

"Yes, well..."

"Just let me in!"

The Fat Lady hesitated. "As you wish."

She swung up and let the Slytherin boy into the Gryffindor dorms. Sev immediately saw a whole group of people circling something or someone. He easily picked out Professor Flitwick, Madame Pomphrey, Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore. They were whispering frantically to each other and Sev couldn't catch what they were saying. Madame Pomphrey suddenly gasped as blood (seemingly from nowhere) started to seep throughout the whole floor. The group backed off and Sev was interested yet frightened at the same time. _Where's Lily?_ he thought. _She should be here somewhere...this __**is**__ her dorm afterall._

Sev looked and looked for the redheaded girl but to no avail. After a few moments, he decided to see what was causing so much commotion by himself.

"Move, I want to see."

He pushed through the crowds, uncaring who he pushed (he also happened to push Dumbledore out of the way, who was evidently trying to block him). Sev regretted what he did. He did not want to see anymore. What he saw scarred him, hurt him, nearly killed him, but he refused to believe what he saw. He went closer to the source and reached out a hand.

"Lily?"

Her crimson hair framed her beautiful face and her emerald eyes were closed. Sev could've believed that she was only asleep but he knew she was already dead - blood was freely spewing from her chest onto the floor.

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He blinked. Not once, but twice. Maybe a few more times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He pinched Remus and Remus let out a loud yelp. Lily flinched at the sudden sound and widened her eyes at Severus. She slowly placed her hands over her chest and looked down. There was no more gaping hole, no more fresh blood. Her mouth opened in awe and she reached out to Severus, touching his very stiff arms. Her touch poured life back into him and once he snapped back into reality, he pulled her into his embrace. He didn't care if Remus was looking, or if this was only a dream. As long as Lily was in this tormenting dream, he would want to hold her like this forever.

"Sev?"

At the sound of her voice, he realized that the miracle he was waiting for all these years was right in front of him. This redheaded girl.


	2. Premonition

**Warning: Mature Content**

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**Chapter 2:** Premonition

His eyes opened. The Lily he had in his arms was gone and instead, he was on lying on top of his bed. He groaned and placed his aching head in his hands. Severus held back a sob and cursed himself for dreaming such a torturing dream. A dream that Lily Evans was _somehow_ still alive. He knew that Lily Evans was murdered - he had seen it with his own eyes... After a few minutes, he decided to change and headed toward the shower. Severus dragged his weary feet toward the door when he heard water running.

He felt his breath hitch as he slowly neared toward it, pressing his right ear against the door to "eavesdrop" on whoever was in there. The doorknob gleamed at him, tempting him to open the door, but Severus assumed the door was locked. He listened to the water fall from the showerhead and decided to try the door. Severus would soon find out. The doorknob stubbornly refused to give, but after a few rattles, the door opened slowly. The hinges creaked, but the person inside did not hear. Severus could hear soft humming as he neared toward the shower. He stepped in small puddles that were surrounding it, but did not even flinch when he wet his robes.

Severus took a deep breath and pulled back the curtains. His jaw dropped when he found Lily Evans showering in _his_ dormitory, but it dropped even lower when he realized that he was watching her shower...and that she was naked. Lily turned to him, squeaked and attempted to grab the shower curtains from him to shield herself. But Severus was so stunned that he did not let go. Lily turned a bright red and jumped out of the shower, turning off the water as she did so. She gave him a sly smile.

"That's fine. I can always use your robes to cover myself."

Lily smirked as she pressed up against him and Severus felt a _certain_ area of him harden. She felt his growing erection and pushed him against the cold tile wall.

"You know, Sev...If you wanted to shower too, you could've told me. There's plenty of room for the both of us."

She giggled and captured his stunned lips in a kiss. Sev was so shocked that he couldn't even respond properly. It felt as if his mind had shut down, but his heart was beating wildly. He was so confused. What was happening? He didn't care. Lily Evans was kissing _him_ and not that disgusting James Potter.

So he responded (finally).

Lily gasped when she felt his lips move in a different rhythm, forcing her to let his tongue slid in. Sev moaned when he felt her inviting warmth and wrapped his arms around her naked, slim waist. He moved his hands over her body, savoring the softness and felt his erection grow harder. Lily smiled as she moved one of her hands down to his groin and stroked the throbbing organ through his clothes.

"You know...It's no fair if you have more clothes than I do," she smirked. "Actually, you're fully clothed!"

Satisfied, she licked his lips and pulled away. Before she could leave, Severus dragged her back into his embrace and gently kissed her puffy, red lips. He stroked her fire red hair as she began to lead him towards the bed.

"Lily."

"Mm?"

He felt his thoughts waver as she proceeded to rip off his robes. He could feel her silky hands slide across his chest and felt his heart beat impossibly faster.

"Lily..." Sev croaked.

"Yes, Sev?"

Lily had "accidentally" rubbed his erection with her fingers and he could feel himself going to explode if he didn't enter her _now_.

"I...I...I thought you were with Potter," he stuttered.

She straddled him. "No. We broke up two days ago. Don't you remember?"

This confused him greatly. He did _not_ remember. He thrust upwards and Lily Evans fell beside him in bed. Severus was panting heavily above her, his eyes full of desire and confusion. Lily was scared - How could he not remember? He _was_ the one who invited her in.

"No, but what day is today so I can forever keep this event in my memories?"

Lily squirmed as she felt his erection press up against her, almost teasingly. "August 16th," she gasped.

Severus felt his heart stop. Something was _very_ wrong. The event yesterday must have been a dream, right? He was truly confused...because yesterday, yesterday was when Lily had died. Yesterday was August 17th.

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Severus could not recall "last night" with Lily Evans, but she still slept next to him in bed, smiling contently as she breathed in and out. He did not sleep at all last night - his thoughts had swarmed, confusion was happily spreading itself out to every thought, tainting his judgement and logic. What is happening? He felt dizzy and unwrapped his arm around Lily's waist. She squirmed at the loss of heat and moved closer to Severus. He felt his heart warm, but knew he had to find out what was happening... to him, to Lily Evans, to time itself.

Surely, time could not move backwards; it only moved forwards even if you weren't prepared for the next day's events. Severus drew in a sharp breath - he was never ready. Suddenly, he sat up in bed and Lily rolled off of him onto her own section of the bed. She moaned and blindly felt for Severus; she patted his lap several times, extremely close to his growing erection. Severus flushed and got out of bed. Lily opened her droopy eyes and smirked at Severus, who was staring at the bed. She realized that he wasn't staring _at_ the bed, but at _her._

She raised an eyebrow in concern. "What's on your mind?"

"Lily, what day is it today?"

She giggled at his question but stopped when she saw his solemn look. "August 17th!" She jumped out of bed, tossing the sheets off her to join him. Her hands sneaked around his neck and gave Severus a quick peck on the lips.

"We're going to be late for our first class if you don't hurry!" She grabbed clothes out of the closet and closed the bathroom door behind her.

Severus was truly scared. He was going to lose Lily today, but he folded his arms stubbornly.

Not if he could help it.

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He had Charms before lunch. That gave him only three hours to make sure Lily was safe before _the_ murder could occur. True - he was worried about the classes he would miss, especially Charms. But he knew he would sacrifice anything just for her, just for her to live. Sev didn't think he would survive another day if Lily had died _twice_ in his life. But still, it seemed impossible that time could go backwards. He pondered to himself as he walked the hallways and unknowingly bumped into someone.

"Snivellus," that someone sneered.

Severus looked at Potter, malice glinting in his eyes. "I don't have the time for you, Potter."

"Oh, but I do," Potter whipped out his wand, but before he could mutter a curse, Professor McGonagall stopped him. She looked disapprovingly at her Gryffindor student, but did not take off any points. She pushed him along, away from Severus, but he had turned his head around.

"Don't worry, Snivellus. If I can't harm you, I'll just get you from another angle." He chuckled darkly as he trotted off to his first period class.

Severus was worried - Even if Potter had chained, tied, wet, nearly killed Sev's pride, Severus was afraid.

_Another angle?_ he mused. Then he began to fear the worst.

If Potter could not have her, no one will.

Lily...

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He came crashing through the hallways, the period before Charms. He had to find Lily _now_. His mind was so scrambled, he could not remember what she currently had even though he had passionately memorized her schedule when she had told him. His heart pounded terribly, aware of the tragedy that was going to occur very soon. He stumbled past the Charms room, Flitwick squeakily shouting out attendance; he sprinted past the Transfiguration Room, McGonagall barking out orders on how dangerous the subject is; he climbed up to the Astronomy Tower to stop in front of the room that _she_ was in. Severus shyly opened the door and Professor Trelawny craned her neck to see who was there.

"Good morning, Severus. You have class with us today?"

He gulped as he scanned the room for Lily. "Er. Yes."

She motioned him to have a seat on the floor. "Please, have a seat."

Severus's heart sunk - Lily was not present. He felt his hands shake uncontrollably as he feared that Lily had already been gone.

"Um, excuse me, Professor, but where is Lily Evans?"

"She asked to go to the bathroom, dear."

But at the moment Severus left the room, Trelawny began to ramble about a murder that would occur very soon...right in the halls of Hogwarts.

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